Cristian and Kristen. Both with Garcia as your last names. It seems a union made in heaven! You met during your last year of high school and only have had eyes for each other since then. You have been together for five years, and have both accomplished much in this time. There are many pictures that attest that you have also travelled and had fun together. You must have had a few fights too. Still, as your wedding day approaches, it seems more and more, a marriage made in heaven.
But it is not. In the Catholic Church marriage is the only sacrament the priest does not bestow on you, but it is a life-long partnership a man and a woman establish for their own good and that of their children. It is the same in the Episcopal Church. Bride and groom make their vows before God and the Church, and receive His blessings to fulfill them.
Like with everything in life, you need God´s grace to succeed, but it is up to the two of you to make your marriage work. And marriage, dear Cristian, is like a delicate plant. It needs constant nurturing. Even a draft of air, or the smallest little worm, can harm it.
One of the most important things in marriage is trust. And for trust to endure, you need to communicate and be honest. It is not only a matter of not lying, but of sharing your dreams and worries, your plans and fears. Being faithful is a lot more than not having relationships outside marriage. It is about making decisions together, about not letting anyone talk ill of your spouse in front of you, about every day actions, some small, some large, such as accepting each other´s faults.
You are both beautiful, young, smart. But not perfect. And as the years go by, you will discover each other´s shortcoming. If there are things you do, and Kristen does not like them and complaints, listen. And try to better yourself. There is nothing more admirable than to change one´s behavior for the happiness of those we love.
There will be demands from work, each other´s families, life itself – bills, friends, children—but always keep a space that is only shared by the two of
you. And I do not mean a physical space, but a special intimate bond expressed by an inside joke, a look, a kiss. True love should be a conspiracy of two against the world.
We women are from Venus. We care about details. We are incurable romantics. Don´t allow routine and technology to come in the way of those apparently small gestures that mean so much to a girl – the unexpected roses, the little sticky on the refrigerator, holding hands at the right moment.
And as much as you need to take care of the unique bond you share, you each also need space apart. And do it without reservations. Jealousy can be very destructive. If there is trust, it has no place in marriage.
You are a true gentleman and I do not have to remind you to always treat your wife and every woman with respect and kindness. There will be disagreements. It is part of life. My advice: never go to sleep mad at each other. You do not want any quarrel to carry over to the next morning, because an insignificant dispute may then turn into resentment. There are few ills love cannot cure.
Learn to compromise. It is not always about being right. It is also about being generous. And you will receive in the same measure that you give.
Hopefully, you will be blessed with children and another stage of your life will begin then. I am sure you will be a great Dad, but being a parent should not diminish but increase the attention you give to your spouse
Being a married man does not mean, however, that you cannot call me at any time of the day or night just to talk, ask for my opinion or because by intuition, without your saying it, I will know if you need something. Aba will always have your back.
I am looking forward to your wedding day. I already feel I have gained a granddaughter.
January 4, 2019 will be one of the happiest days of both your lives. A beautiful wedding is just the beginning of a long journey together. May it be filled with joy, health, achievements, travels, children, lots of love and God´s infinite blessings.
I give you mine, my dear grandson.